Too Stubborn to Leave
by RealaCarsona
Summary: Inspired by fanart, set after season 3. What happens when someone dies, but they made a promise, and they will keep it no matter what they have to do, or become. Or the one where Lexa comes back as a wolf because Clarke's incapable of looking after herself.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey guys, so I was looking at some fan art and stuff on line, and this idea just wouldn't leave my head. I don't know if it will stay as a one shot or not, I don't know where I would even take it. But please let me know what you think of it haha.**

It had been three months since they took down the city of light, three months since Clarke had run away after the mountain. But this time there was no Lexa to bring her home.

She hunted and foraged for food, recklessly taking on the biggest and nastiest animals in the forest in territory wars, but never getting killed, no matter home much sometimes that was exactly what she wished for.

Really she should have left Trikru territory, should have ran to the edges of the earth where no one could find her. Abby was relentless in sending out search parties to find her, determined not to lose her daughter again, but it was for nothing. Clarke didn't want to be found and so she wasn't.

But she still couldn't bring herself to leave the forests of the Trikru. Not when everything about them reminded her so vividly of her lost love. Even just looking up at the leafy canopy as she laid down to sleep, the colours reminded her of the quiet intensity of Lexa's gaze, and in the morning she was reminded of the way Lexa's eyes would sparkle in amusement as the first beams of sunlight cut through the leaves.

She was on the trail of a panther when she heard talking from the path, less than a hundred meters to the right of her.

Curiously, she inched forwards, settling on her stomach so she could look out without being seen and take in the sight of those that were so far inside some of the most dangerous hunting grounds in the forest.

It was Skaikru, of course it was Skaikru, it was always Skaikru. And they were heading right for the den of the panther she was tracking.

Torn she looked between them and her way back to her cabin that she had built. They had no idea what they were walking into but if she helped them then she would have to move again, and she had finally settled into a somewhat decent routine, undisturbed by the other predators living around her.

Finally, she made her decision as a low growl emitted from the direction of the panther's den.

Growling herself in frustration she jumped to her feet and bolted towards them, leaping onto the path and shoving them roughly in the shoulder.

"Get out of here now!" She barked at them.

"Clarke!" They exclaimed in surprise, "Your mother sent us, she wants you back home, your people need you."

Already regretting her decision, she scowled at them, "That's not my home anymore, and Skaikru are not my people. Leave now before you get us all killed."

She was so focused on them that she missed the telltale sign of the twigs covering the forest floor behind her snapping and was only alerted to the sudden appearance of the cat when the two Skaikru guards faces shifted to matching looks of horror as the stared over her shoulder.

Turning to face the snarling beast, she tried to back away slowly whilst drawing her dagger, but it was too late. The cat leapt at her as she stumbled back to the ground, the two men turning tail and running for their lives, leaving her for dead.

Just before the panther could swipe at her with those deadly, razor edged claws, it was met in mid-air by a solid mass of fur and muscle.

The two animals crashed to the ground, rolling across the forest floor as they twisted and snapped with their jaws, fighting for dominance.

Clarke was about to leave the two of them, slipping away whilst they fought over her, when something caught her attention.

The wolf that had caught the panther mid-leap was a rich, warm brown colour, the exact same shade that had been Lexa's hair colour.

She was so stuck by the sudden resemblance that she didn't realize the wolf had one until it padded over to her, stopping less than a metre in front of her.

Stood in front of her, she realized that it was the biggest wolf she had ever seen, it's shoulder reaching hers.

But she wasn't scared of it, because when she looked into its eyes, they sparkled, the same shade as the treetops when the light cut through them.

And when it dropped to its belly, she knew instantly that the wolf was repeating the vow it had made when it had been a human called Lexa kom Trikru.

Dropping down to her knees, Clarke took the great head in her hands, tracing over the markings that circled her eyes before trailing down towards the corner of her mouth.

"Lexa?"

Lexa's ears twitched forwards as she sat up, pushing her head against Clarke's chest, before darting up and swiping her tongue along Clarke's cheekbone.

Clarke just stared for a moment before she broke out into hysterical giggles, "I can't believe this, you are literally too stubborn to die."

With her tongue lolling out the side of her mouth, even over the wickedly long canine teeth, it was one of the most adorable things Clarke had even seen in her life, and she reached up to scratch behind Lexa's ears before she had time to think about it, which sent her into another fit of giggles.

"This is ridiculous, I love you, and I will love you for the rest of my life, but if you think for one minute I'm going to be kissing you anymore…" She trailed off as Lexa's wolf face seemed to pout, which just made her laugh harder.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: So not a one shot then, I found I really enjoyed writing last chapter so here you go :)**

Clarke had been relieved to find that even as a wolf, Lexa still understood gonasleng as well as she had when she was alive, which made it so much easier to bring her back to the small wooden construction that Clarke had come to call home.

However, the problems soon started becoming apparent when it came to getting Lexa into the cabin. If she had been the size of a normal wolf then it would have made things challenging but not impossible. As it was, she couldn't even fit through the narrow doorway into the house.

Giving what, for all the world, appeared to be a disgruntled sigh, the great wolf dropped to the floor outside of Clarke's dwelling and rested her head on her paws. Her eyes flicking to the door as if to tell Clarke to go in and rest whilst she watched over her.

"Are you sure you will be ok out here?" Clarke asked her softly, her eyes drinking in the sight of her, still not really believing that this wasn't all just an amazing dream that she was about to wake up from.

Lexa lifted her head, her jaw opening and showing all her teeth. But instead of seeming threatening, it created a wolfish grin.

"Ok, I get the picture." Clarke laughed, "You're far better equipped to take care of yourself than I am."

Slipping inside she closed the door behind her, pausing for a moment before yanking it back open just to check that her girlfriend turned canine was still sitting there watching her with a look of pure amusement.

"Right, goodnight Lexa." She smiled softly, before closing the door behind her properly.

Once she had eaten a light meal, she went to sleep early, knowing that she would have to be up at dawn so they could start the arduous process of moving all her belongings far enough away that she wouldn't be found her mother sent someone looking for her body after the two cowards reported back.

The sun had just set and her eyes had drifted closed when she suddenly felt a dip on the bed and a heavy weight draped itself over her waist.

Tensing, she reached for the dagger under her pillow before flipping her body over so she was straddling whoever had invaded her bed.

"It's only me Clarke." Lexa murmured to her softly, lightly rubbing her fingers up and down Clarke's arms.

Clarke's eyes widened as tears immediately began to pool in them, it was one thing to have her girlfriend back in wolf form, but it was another entirely to have her back as Lexa. As the woman she had fallen in love with.

"How is this possible?" She breathed softly, "I'm dreaming this aren't I? That panther actually got me and I'm somewhere dying a slow and painful death right now and hallucinating all of this."

Lexa shook her head quickly, raising her hand hesitantly before brushing away the tears travelling down Clarke's cheeks. "No ai hodnes, no. I saved you, I will always save you. I don't know how this happened. But maybe there are miracles in this world. As long as you live I will be here to protect you."

Clarke looked at her speechlessly for a long moment before her brain started clicking the pieces into place, "The last three months, all those times that I was reckless and should have died, have you been there all this time."

Dipping her chin, Lexa shifted her hips so Clarke was beside her rather than on top of her, "I swore fealty to you Clarke. Not for my lifetime, but for yours. Wherever you go I will go."

"Why have you been a wolf then, why are you only you now?"

Lexa shook her head helplessly, "Whatever caused me to come back to you, I can only be me once the sun sets, during the day I am a wolf again."

Clarke saw what Lexa wasn't saying, that even though she was able to still protect Clarke, her new existence meant she had no choice even if she would have chosen differently. She could never go home to her people.

"I'm sorry." She whispered, linking her fingers with Lexa's, "But at the same time I am too selfish to truly regret that."

Smiling softly, Lexa squeezed Clarke's hand lightly, "If I had a choice, nothing would be different. I have no regrets either. It's not what either of us ever imagined Clarke, but if you will have me then I am yours. I no longer owe anything to my people. My debt was payed with my death."

Staring at her face, Clarke searched for any indication that Lexa was hiding her true feelings from her. Finding nothing, she eventually nodded, tugging Lexa's arm to get her to lie down beside her.

"All I want, in this whole wretched world, is you."


	3. Chapter 3

Clarke was disappointed in the morning when instead of Lexa she found just a warm spot on the bed beside her where the other girl had been. But it was enough to bring a smile to her face when she realized that the last day had been real, and that Lexa had come back to her, regardless of how.

Stretching out her arms she slipped out of the side of the bed and stuck her feet in her boots, not even bothering to lace them up as she stumbled to the door.

Sticking her head outside, she was met with the sight of Lexa growling softly at a lizard that was creeping closer and closer towards her front paws. Although she seemed more irritated than actually bothered by it.

"Will you stop that?" Clarke laughed, picking the lizard up by the tail and moving it to the other side of the clearing, "You sound like a thunder storm, the idea is to avoid other people, not draw them directly to us."

Lexa just tilted her head to the side expectantly, "Stop looking at me like that, this would be so much easier if I could pretend I didn't know exactly what that look meant." Clarke scowled childishly. "I don't want to go back to Arkadia. It doesn't matter if you're alive now, if they had all just trusted me then you wouldn't have died and Polis wouldn't be in ruins."

Seeming to wince, Lexa dropped her head down to rest on her paws dejectedly, giving a soft, mournful whine.

Clarke sighed, lowering herself to sit down next to her, leaning into her side so she could rest her head against Lexa's shoulder, "I'm sorry, I tried Lexa, I really did. But what could I have done? I'm not a nightblood, I couldn't have led your people even if I wanted to, they would never have accepted me. I think most of those that survived scattered, with some of them eventually finding their way to Luna."

Twisting slightly, Lexa rested her chin on Clarke's legs, allowing the girl to stroke her fingers over her face, trailing the war paint designs that were now part of her fur.

"I know you want me to let them find me, but if I go back to Arkadia what happens to you, there's no way mom's going to let me just show up saying, oh hey mom, sorry I abandoned you all again. And by the way this is my girlfriend that you all hated anyway, she died because Skaikru as a group are moronic but she came back as the world's biggest wolf so all is forgiven."

Lexa looked up without bothering to move her head, her green eyes sparkling.

"It's not funny." Clarke laughed despite herself, "This is just an insane situation, it's far better if I just stay away. So we're leaving."

Clarke tried to stand up to pack her things, but Lexa caught hold of the waistband of her pants in her teeth, pulling her back to the ground before she pounced on top of her. Pinning Clarke in place by laying across her body with her full weight.

"Get off!" Clarke cried out, trying to wriggle out from underneath her, but even as a wolf Lexa was pure muscle and she was far too heavy for Clarke to escape until Lexa was prepared to let her.

Giving up the futile struggle, Clarke glared at her reproachfully, "This is cheating, you're huge now."

Lexa huffed in irritation, her warm breath tickling Clarke's neck.

"I'm not calling you fat, you idiot. But you're twice the size of me now and you have four legs. Are you really going to make me wait until night time when I'll have a fair chance?"

Lexa made an odd barking noise and Clarke tipped her head to the side quizzically as she tried to work it out, "Wait, are you laughing at me?" She asked in confusion, the confusion quickly clearing up when Lexa's face dropped into that same lopsided grin from the day before, "You are! That's just rude."

She was about to say more when Lexa's eyes suddenly narrowed in focus and she stood up to allow Clarke to stand beside her, "What is it?" Clarke breathed softly in her ear, not even needing to bend down because of how tall Lexa's wolf form was.

In answer, Lexa just dropped down to her stomach and started crawling towards the treeline, as Clarke followed she realised they were going in the same direction of the panther's den where Lexa had saved her.

"How could you let this happen?" They heard from up in front of them, "After three months you finally find her and then you leave her to die horribly and all alone."

"That's my mom." Clarke whispered, "She came herself?"

Lexa shot her a withering look out the corner of her eye, as if to say, of course she did you idiot, she loves you.

"I don't know how you can be more sarcastic by not talking at all." Clarke snarked back at her before they crept a little closer to continue listening.

The two guards who had abandoned her were desperately trying to defend themselves to a furious looking Abby, "There was nothing we could do, there was the panther and then a wolf showed up, we barely got away with our own lives."

"You had guns, my poor Clarke had nothing." Abby snarled at them, before she took a deep breath and continued down the path to where the opening of the den was, fully expecting to find her daughter's body when she rounded the corner.

They heard rather than saw when she came across the body of the panther, and Clarke could picture in her mind's eye what her mother was seeing, the huge cat practically ripped apart by Lexa's teeth and claws.

She felt Lexa's nudging her with her head, and tried to push back, hissing that she didn't want to face her mother. But one look at Lexa's serious expression and she knew that the ex-commander was right, her mother deserved to know she wasn't dead at the very least.

"Fine ok, but you're coming with me." She muttered, before standing back up and slipping through the trees, moving quietly until she reached the edge of the clearing the panther carcass was in and she could just catch a glimpse of the sun glinting off Abby's hair in front of her.

"Mom." She called softly.

Abby's head whipped round as a hopeful expression flashed across her face, "Clarke is that you?"

"It is mom." Clarke answered her, "I'm going to come out and talk to you, but you need to tell your two guys to keep their guns down, and to not panic and shoot ok?"

"Why would they-?"

"You'll understand in a minute, just do it ok? Or I'll just disappear and you won't find me again. I know these woods far better than any other member of Skaikru."

Abby waved at the two guards, "Either one of you shoots a weapon without my express permission and I'll have your heads."

They nodded quickly, swallowing nervously at almost the exact same time Clarke did.

"Ok, come on Lexa, and remember I'm only doing this because of you."

Lexa made that same soft barking noise that Clarke interpreted as a laugh and then shoved again with her head. Gently padding out of the trees and into the clearing after Clarke.

Abby stiffened as she saw the enormous wolf behind her daughter, but to her credit she took a deep breath and her hand didn't even twitch towards her weapon.

The two guards didn't show the same self control, both of them starting to raise their guns again before Clarke herself snarled at them angrily, placing herself very deliberately between Lexa and the weapons.

Lexa herself practically rolled her eyes, shoving Clarke to the side lightly and trotting across the clearing until she was in front of Abby before sitting down deliberately as though she was taking her place on her throne.

"Maybe you should ask to shake her paw." Clarke joked towards Abby before she could stop herself, her grin widening when Lexa gave a low growl of indignation at the thought of her performing like a common mutt that had been commonplace in the capitol.

Abby looked between Clarke and the wolf for a few moments, before finally deciding that no one was in immediate danger. Crossing to her daughter she pulled her into a fierce hug, wrapping her arms around Clarke tightly and refusing to let go until Clarke eventually pried her off of her.

"Mom will you please let go. I'm fine I promise."

"Where have you been Clarke, you can't keep doing this to me? And why the hell are you being followed around by a dangerous predator as though you've tamed it like a pet?"

Clarke shook her head softly, sniggering as Lexa somehow managed to look offended behind her mother's back.

"Mom, you need to understand something ok? When Lexa died, that was really hard for me, but I stayed because everyone was in danger. Once they were safe, well then I needed some time to grieve."

Abby sighed patiently, "Sweetheart I know she was your friend, but she-"

Clarke cut her off with a gentle shake of her head, "No she wasn't mom, I loved her. And I never said it, and then I had to watch her die, and it was my fault."

Abby's eyes widened at the pain she saw in Clarke's, and all she could do was pull her in close again, "Clarke I am so sorry, I really am, I never realised. Please honey, come home, I'm sure Lexa would want you safe, let me help you."

Clarke laughed, pulling back from her and nodding towards Lexa herself, who was watching them with her wolf grin back in full force, looking smug. "Actually that's exactly what she wants."

Looking back at the wolf, Abby suddenly saw the resemblance between the young grounder leader and the animal, and her heart broke at the fantasy Clarke was using to help her cope.

"Clarke honey, you have to understand, no matter how much we want people to come back they just can't."

Huffing in annoyance, Lexa stood up and padded over to them, standing beside the two of them, allowing Clarke to run her fingers over the war paint marks.

"Mom I promise you that I'm not going crazy, this is literally Lexa, and I'm going to prove it. Stay with me tonight and I promise I can."

Abby looked at her doubtfully.

"Please mom, one night, if you're not convinced then I'll come back and do whatever you say until I get over my grief."

Reluctantly Abby nodded, "Ok, one night. But don't be too disappointed if you can't Clarke. I know how hard we can wish for people to come back."


	4. Chapter 4

Abby looked around the small cabin Clarke had been calling home curiously. At her daughters request she sent the two guards back to Arkadia with a message that she was fine and would be returning in the morning.

"This is nice, I can't believe you just found this in the middle of the forest."

"I didn't." Clarke smiled, "I built it myself. When I was in Polis I had some spare time so Lexa arranged for me to speak with the hunters and learn how to live away from the cities. "She said that after my three months on the run as Wanheda that I needed to learn how to do it properly because I was appalling."

Abby gave a soft smile in return, "It sounds as though she cared about you very much."

Clarke swallowed the retort that she still cared about her, knowing that it wouldn't get her anywhere until Abby believed that Lexa was really alive and currently taking a nap outside the front door of her cabin.

"Lexa as the Commander was smart, and unapologetic. But when we were alone…she was warm, and gentle and so open. The phrase wearing your heart on your sleeve was made for her. I always knew what she was thinking." Clarke explained softly, "And she never asked me to apologize for anything I did, she knew that the choices I made were ones I believed to be necessary, her belief in me kept me sane I think."

There was a long silence as both of them thought about was Clarke had just said as Clarke busied herself with cooking a simple stew, making enough for three people and then seconds if anyone was still hungry afterwards.

Abby just sat at the table quietly, mulling it all over, she hadn't particularly liked the Commander, but apparently she had been seeing a completely different person to the one her daughter had.

After tossing a few spices into the pot, Clarke pulled out three uneven bowls and set them on the table.

"Clarke I-" She started sadly, cut off as Clarke's head snapped upwards towards the door as it creaked open.

Seeing the dead Commander stepping through the door was the most surreal experience of her life.

The tall brunette was wearing just a simple pair of pants tied off at the waist and a far too big for her shirt with the long sleeves rolled up to her elbows.

"I am honoured that you set me a plate Clarke." Lexa said teasingly as she let the door swing shut behind her. "I was starting to think that raw animals during the day were the only meals I was going to get for the rest of my life."

"You say that," Clarke smiled, leaning in to give her a soft, tender kiss before waving her hand for Lexa to sit down next to her mom, "But I noticed a suspicious absence of fresh fruit and bread this morning when I woke up."

Lexa just shrugged in answer, "If you don't want wild animals raiding your kitchen then you should train your body to wake up at the slightest noise."

Clarke rolled her eyes, "Or you could just leave a note of what you took so I won't go searching for things and finding them missing."

Shrugging, Lexa just helped herself to a bowl of stew and starting eating. "Your mother looks like she's about to faint."

Suddenly remembering that her mother was in the room with them, Clarke looked up at her worriedly, "Mom I'm so sorry, you ok?"

Abby nodded hesitantly, "I think so, how the hell is this possible?"

Lexa looked up at her and smiled softly, "We don't know, all we know is that I am not dead and I get to protect Clarke with no other responsibilities to sway my judgement."

Quirking her head to the side, Abby stared at Lexa.

"What?" Lexa asked her patiently, aware of the eyes on her as she went back to eating.

"Nothing. I just find it interesting that that's how you choose to describe all this." Abby remarked.

Clarke looked at Lexa herself this time, curious to hear what she was going to say.

Deliberately, Lexa set the spoon down to the side of the plate and looked at Abby seriously, "I did my best to protect Clarke, I made decisions I wouldn't have otherwise. But if it had been all my people or her, I wouldn't have lifted a finger to save her."

Abby began to look enraged but Lexa just waved a hand impatiently. "Don't presume to lecture me on things you know nothing about. One sacrificed for many is a small price to pay, and it is one I would be bound by duty to honour."

"That being said," She breathed out, glancing at Clarke lovingly, "It would have been the hardest thing I ever had to do. The second being the night I left Skaikru in the Mountain because that's what was best for my people."

She looked back at Abby, tapping the point on her stomach were the bullet had hit, "But I died for them, and helped Clarke find the kill switch in the City of Light, my debt to them is paid. And now I am free to do what I want, what I choose, for the first time in my entire life. And I choose to love Clarke, no matter what form that takes, and if one day she finds another who can spend the days with her as well as their nights, I will love her still. Clarke will never be unprotected as long as I am alive."

Abby looked completely taken aback by the sincerity and intensity of what Lexa was saying and her conviction, but it was Clarke who was the most affected, shaking her head fiercely, "Never, that won't happen. I'm never going to leave you."

Lexa gave a low chuckled, "I believe that you mean that now, and it may be the case. But I would never ask you to tie your life to me forever Clarke. If one day you wish to go, then you can do so without guilt."

"You're an idiot." Clarke laughed, pulling Lexa out of her chair and wrapping her arms round her, "We never needed words anyway, so it doesn't matter if for half the time you have four legs and enormous teeth."

"Good." Lexa grinned, with a sigh of relief, "Because I really didn't want you to take me up on that offer anyway."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hey guys, hope you're enjoying this :) I just ask that if you have a minute could you maybe write me a review and let me know your thoughts? Especially, if anyone has any ideas about what can happen in this fic? Because this is different to a lot of things I've done and some ideas would be greatly appreciated?**

After dinner they had all gone to sleep, Clarke had insisted Abby take the bed and then she had made a bed up on the floor for herself and Lexa.

Abby watched the two girls once they had fallen asleep, noting how Lexa's arm curled protectively around Clarke's waist, and how her daughter leant into the embrace happily. Still completely dazed from what she had been told, she eventually allowed herself to drift off to sleep.

"Mom, hey mom!" Clarke called softly, as she shook Abby's shoulder, "You need to wake up."

"What time is it?" Abby muttered as she sat up, rubbing at her eyes with the back of her sleep.

Clarke smiled at her as she dropped a plate on her lap, filled with freshly sliced pieces of fruit and some bread and cheese. "Sometime between dawn and noon, I don't exactly have a watch anymore but it's fairly early. Lexa woke me up when she slipped out this morning. I was right when I accused her of stealing my food, she thought I was still asleep."

Abby chuckled slightly as she started eating, before she suddenly stopped, a strange expression passing over her face, "What happens now Clarke? You were right, Lexa is here, so does that mean that you won't come home?"

Sighing, Clarke sat on the edge of the bed next to her mother, "It's not my home mom, it's never been my home, I've never actually lived in Arkadia properly and I have certainly never felt comfortable there. And now there's Lexa, could you honestly tell me that she would be safe if we took her back to Arkadia. She died of a gunshot wound mom, I won't watch that happen again."

"I can go back first, I can explain to them." Abby said tearfully, already knowing what Clarke's decision was.

Clarke shook her head, "You know that won't work, not for all of them, not forever, eventually someone will slip up. And I won't risk her. But now that you know I'm here? If you want I will stay, and you can visit me as much as you want. You won't have to lose me again mom."

Closing her eyes for a moment, Abby bobbed her head, "Ok then, but I will be bringing you a radio as well next time I visit."

"That's great." Clarke grinned, "Bring me a watch as well and we'll be able to organize our visits properly."

An impatient whine interrupted them from the other side of the door.

"Has she been listening to the entire conversation?" Abby asked once they realised what the sudden noise actually was.

Clarke laughed as she stood up and walked over to the door, "Probably, she was never the most patient person in the world."

Yanking the door open she was suddenly face to face with Lexa, their eyes inches from each other.

"You weren't, waiting for a week for me to not want to murder you doesn't count as patient, it counts as self preservation."

Lexa huffed slightly, catching the edge of Clarke's shirt in her teeth to pull her outside.

"You die once and now you're ridiculously needy, can you really not just stay outside by yourself for an hour?" Clarke joked as Abby followed her out.

Content that neither of them was about to disappear back inside where she couldn't hear half of what they were saying, Lexa dropped down to the floor, looking at Clarke expectantly until she copied her so Lexa could rest her head on Clarke's lap.

"So," Abby grinned, "It's nice to see that she can still order you around. Maybe you won't manage to get yourself killed after all." As she spoke, she sat in the doorway of the cabin, watching the two of them in front of her. Lexa who was tipping her chin up so Clarke would scratch along her jaw, and Clarke, who was doing so with no idea of the way Lexa was shamelessly tipping her head from side to side directing her.

Clarke glared at her mother balefully, "That's completely unfair, I was surviving just fine on my own without her."

Very deliberately, Lexa lifted her head and looked directly at Abby before shaking her head from side to side once.

Lexa grinned again as Clarke's glare was directed at her, whilst Abby burst out laughing behind them.

"Thank you Lexa." Abby murmured, as the wolf's eyes flicked to her, and now Abby could see it. See the girl who was looking out through those eyes, rather than the animal which was all she could see the day before, "Thank you for keeping her safe."

Always, those eyes seemed to say, before Clarke started to protest again that she had been just fine and Lexa turned back to Clarke, her daughter practically disappearing under the mass of fur as Lexa wriggled closer to her, nipping at her arms until Clarke eventually gave in and admitted that she had needed the help all along.

"I need to head back to Arkadia." Abby told them softly, "Can I come back in two days?"

Clarke smiled at her, "Of course mom, come over late afternoon and then we'll make sure we sleep that morning so we can actually have more time to talk."

Lexa seemed to have no intention of moving so Abby walked over to Clarke, wrapping her arms round her shoulders, "Then I will see you then. I love you Clarke."

"I love you mom."

They watched Abby walk away.

When she was out of sight Lexa climbed to her feet, swiping her tongue across Clarke's jaw.

Wiping the wolf drool from her face, Clarke fake scowled at her, "That's disgusting." Lexa's eyes just sparkled a touch brighter in response, "I know what you're doing though, so thank you."

Lexa dipped her head before turning round and padding after Abby, intent on seeing her to the edge of the forest to make sure the Skaikru leader returned home safely.


	6. Chapter 6

"Did my mum realize you were following her at any point?" Clarke asked curiously as they strolled through the trees, their hands joined loosely.

Lexa shook her head, helping Clarke step down off a log, in the middle of the night in complete dark there was no way she was going to be making that step on her own without losing her footing.

"I was with her almost the entire way back to her camp, that's why I didn't return until after dark." Lexa answered softly, guiding the two of them along the easiest to navigate trails.

Clarke grinned at her knowingly, "Where you worried about my mom?"

Rolling her eyes, Lexa shook her head, "No, I care little about your irritating mothers continued survival, but I doubt you would be particularly impressed if I allowed her to be eaten before she returned home."

"You're so sweet." Clarke laughed jokingly, "Really, I'll have to tell her next time she visits just how much you care about her."

Lexa smirked, glancing at her out of the corner of her eye, "Next time your mother visits I may have to go on a hunting trip."

Giving her a look of betrayal, Clarke scowled at her, "Don't even joke about that, with you there she'll be too scared to try and bully me into going back to Arkadia, do you really want me to get kidnapped Lexa? Is that what you want?"

"She's your mother, not me." Lexa laughed, unaffected by the glares she could feel Clarke still sending her way, "But don't worry I'll be close by, I may however fall asleep."

"That still counts as abandoning me." Clarke groaned as Lexa grinned and shook her head.

"No it doesn't, if anyone tried to carry you off I will save you, but I'm not prepared to spend the whole day wishing I could speak just so I could tell your mother she sounds like an idiot."

"So the playing nice last night? The two of you seemed to be getting along just fine." Clarke asked her, sounding as though she was trying to fight back laughter.

Lexa shrugged her shoulders lightly, "It was part of my job to pretend to like people. And your mother has always irritated me in her treatment of you."

Looking up at her in interest, Clarke sat down as Lexa indicated towards a sideways log long enough for the both of them beside a small pond with narrow shafts of moonlight cutting through and reflecting off the water.

"How so?"

Leaning forwards and resting her elbows on her knees, Lexa considered carefully what she was going to say, "You were sent from the sky to check if the ground could be lived on, that could have proved to be a death sentence for you. Once you were down here, you took charge of your people and led them in completely new circumstances. You are their rightful leader by any test that matters. And yet, because of such a trivial matter, the years you have been alive, you do not get the respect you deserve and are fully entitled to."

Clarke looked like she was about to interrupt but Lexa help up a hand, indicating that she should let her finish.

"But what I truly don't understand, is that even with this. When the hard decisions must be made, time and again, you're the one who is making them. It is so much responsibility for a single person, that to shoulder it you must have the confidence of your people or everything will fall around you. But still they tear everything you're building apart because they have no belief or trust. Am I wrong?" Lexa asked her seriously, finally looking back up at Clarke.

Sighing, Clarke just shook her head, "No you're not, it's just as infuriating to me as well. If they had all just listened, then maybe the last couple of months would have been very different."

"That's a dangerous think to do." Lexa smiled softly.

"What is?" Clarke asked curiously.

"Saying maybe." Lexa replied to her, "There are countless possibilities for what could have happened, if you start thinking of them then they may just drive you mad."

There was a long silence, as each of them ignored Lexa's words completely and thought back to the events leading up to her death.

Eventually Clarke broke the silence herself, looking up between the trees at the moon shining in the sky above them.

"You're like a werewolf, but wrong, so like a really confused werewolf." She mused to herself, as Lexa just stared at her, her face a picture of confusion.

Clarke gaped at her when she noticed the look on her face, "Come on seriously? I saw how many books you had in your room alone, how have you never read about werewolves?"

Lexa frowned at her, "Clarke I was just a little bit busy being responsible for the lives of hundreds of thousands of people. Will you just tell me what you're talking about?"

Bobbing her head up and down, Clarke grinned at her, "Ok so a werewolf if someone who changes between a wolf and a human like you, but they do it on the full moon at night."

Lexa just looked unamused as she continued to stare at her, watching Clarke shift uncomfortably until she noticed the way Lexa's eyes were sparkling and punched her in the arm.

"You're so annoying," She groaned, "I bet you knew what I was talking about all along."

Smirking, Lexa just stayed quiet, glancing down at her arm where Clarke had punched her, "If you are so insistent on living in the middle of the woods and never going back to Arkadia then we're going to have to train you, because that was pathetic."

Clarke glared at her, "Seriously, it wasn't as though I was trying to hurt you, you can't judge me by that."

Lexa laughed at her, standing up and holding out her hand for Clarke to take so they could start heading back, "Regardless of the aim behind you hitting me, I still should have felt something."

Grunting at her miserably, Clarke just followed after Lexa, unable to keep up the sulking pretence as her lips twisted into a smile as they walked.


	7. Chapter 7

Lexa gently stroked the hair back from Clarke's face, her soft eyes resting on her sleeping form. Leaning in, she placed a tender kiss on Clarke's forehead, before glancing up towards the window where she could see the first rays of sunlight peaking out above the trees.

"It's time for me to go now, at least in this form." She whispered to the sleeping blonde, "I count the hours every day until I can hold you in my arms again. I love you Clarke." Lexa murmured, so softly that someone would be hard pressed to know she had said anything unless they had already been watching her lips.

Feeling her control over her human body already slipping, Lexa reluctantly tore herself away from Clarke's side and ducked out of the cabin, regretting that she hadn't woken up in time to steal some breakfast and that she would have to catch her own.

Almost the second she stepped foot outside, it was her four paws hitting the dirt.

Padding across the clearing, she was about to slink off into the woods to hunt when she heard the unmistakable sound of a stick snapping under foot behind her next to the cabin.

Whirling round, a snarl already rumbling in her chest, she found herself facing down Octavia Blake.

To her credit, the younger warrior appeared unafraid off the massive predator she had found herself in the cross hairs off, drawing her weapon and watching Lexa carefully as she stalked towards her.

Pausing in the center of the clearing, Lexa found herself at a loss of what to do, Clarke recognized her on sight but there was no indication that Octavia was the same. And she had never been Lexa's biggest fan even when she had technically been serving as a member of the Commander's Clan and by extension army.

Unwilling to risk being killed, again, Lexa dropped down to her belly and tried to look as nonthreatening as possible, which by the confusion suddenly etched across Octavia's face, seemed to work.

As the warrior's sword arm dropped slightly, Lexa took a risk and let out a low whine, appealing to Octavia's sympathy whilst also attempting to get the attention of Clarke, who practically always woke not long after Lexa.

Octavia's confusion only seemed to grow, as Lexa remained low to the ground, shuffling forwards slightly before letting out another whine.

Her face hardening, Octavia moved forwards slowly herself, trying to decide what to make of the bizarre behavior the animal in front of her was displaying.

Deciding that time was running out, Lexa howled, startling Octavia who raised her sword to strike.

"Stop!"

If she were able, Lexa would have laughed in relief as Clarke suddenly appeared in the doorway, yelling for her friend to stop before she killed her girlfriend.

"Clarke?!" Octavia asked in disbelief, "Where have you been?" She asked, temporarily forgetting the whole reason Clarke had come outside in the first place.

"Here, I've been here." Clarke answered, crossing the clearing quickly to Lexa, burying her face in her furry shoulder as Lexa stood to meet her.

Octavia stared at the two of them in confusion, "Clarke what the hell's going on? Last I heard you were dead."

Now it was Clarke's turn to look confused, "Why would you think I was dead?"

"I listen in on patrols going to and from Arkadia to keep up with what's going on with the rest of our people." Octavia explained quickly, "They said you'd been eaten by a panther."

Clarke laughed, "You're working off outdated information O, they thought I'd been eaten, in reality Lexa saved me just in time."

Octavia's eyes widened almost comically, "The Commander's alive? How the hell is that possible Clarke? And if so, where the hell was she when we needed her to stop all the crazy shit that happened three months ago?"

Sighing, Clarke leaned against Lexa's shoulder, "Yes she is, I have no idea and she was dead at the time." She answered softly, before rubbing at the fur on Lexa's neck. "And as for anything else, it would probably be easier for you to just ask her yourself."

Narrowing her eyes, Octavia crossed her arms over her chest impatiently, "Well where is she then? Hiding in your little house?"

"No." Clarke shook her head with an amused grin, before waving her arm towards Lexa, "She's right here."


End file.
